


Laugh Yourself to Sleep

by mckays_girl



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Adult Themes, Clowns, Humor, M/M, Phobias
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-10
Updated: 2007-09-10
Packaged: 2018-09-27 10:21:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10009355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mckays_girl/pseuds/mckays_girl
Summary: Sheppard touches something he's not supposed to and has to perform a ritual to make amends.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my wonderful beta girly_curl_3. This was written for jakisbishylygay as a very late birthday present. Also, I completely blame lishel_fracrium for warping my brain and helping come up with this idea.

"Are you sure?" Sheppard hissed.  
  
"Yes," Teyla confirmed. "The village elder was very adamant."  
  
"What do they want me to do?"  
  
"They would not tell me," she said.  
  
"I don't like the sound of this." Sheppard paced around the small hut.  
  
"Well, maybe if you didn't go around touching things you're not supposed to, we wouldn't be in this mess," Rodney snapped.  
  
"Oh, that's rich coming from you, McKay."  
  
"We could always shoot our way out," Ronon suggested.  
  
"I'd like to leave that as a last resort." Sheppard frowned. "Okay, tell them I'll do it. But if there's any sign of trouble, I want you guys outta here."  
  
***  
  
John was escorted to another hut, minus his weapons, and was offered a seat across from the village shaman. "No, thanks, I'll stand," he drawled. "So, what, exactly, do I need to do to satisfy the ritual? I don't suppose an apology would suffice?"  
  
"You must prove that we can trust you by submitting yourself to the trial of träume."  
  
Sheppard eyed the man warily. "Träume?"  
  
"Come, sit."  
  
John finally sat on the dirt floor cross-legged, as the shaman lit a small fire between them. Pungent smoke wafted up causing John to wrinkle his nose.  
  
"Breathe deeply," the shaman instructed him.  
  
John inhaled the acrid smoke into his lungs and suddenly felt lightheaded. "Whoa." He felt a hand on his forehead, and a second hand cupping the back of his skull, gently guiding him down to the ground.  
  
"Sleep," John heard, and he did.  
  
***  
  
John's eyes fluttered open. He sat up slowly, scanning his surroundings. The room was modest, consisting of only a bed and small table. John reached up to scrub his fingers through the short strands of hair at the nape of his neck, except there wasn't any. He cautiously ran his hand up the curve of his skull, his brows knitting together in concern at the smooth skin under his palm.  
  
"Son of a bitch," he grumbled, bottom lip quivering.  
  
***  
  
"Hey, you don't have to shove." Rodney's irritation was a welcome sound after what felt like hours alone, but was probably only ten minutes.  
  
"Rodney," Sheppard said wearily.  
  
Rodney's head snapped around, eyes opening wide. "John?" He rushed over to the bed. "John. Oh my god, what did they do to you?" Perching on the edge of the bed, he took John's face in his hands and looked into watery eyes.  
  
"My hair," John whined, sniffling pathetically. "They shaved my hair. God, I must look awful."  
  
Rodney's thumbs stroked his tear-stained cheeks as he planted kisses all over John's face. "No. No, you're beautiful. You'll always be beautiful to me."  
  
John looked up, eyes hopefully. "Really?"  
  
"Really. Now let's get you outta here."  
  
John tensed. "I can't," he said, bottom lip tugging down into a pout. "I don't want anyone to see me like this."  
  
"It'll be okay, I promise. Your hair will grow back in no time."  
  
"Hold me," John whimpered, burying his face in Rodney's shoulder.  
  
"I'll do better than that." Rodney sunk to his knees, gently nudging John's legs apart as he slowly lowered his zipper.  
  
"Rodney," he whispered, threading his hands through the man's hair with a twinge of jealousy.  
  
"Shhh," Rodney murmured, shimmying John's pants and boxers down his hips.  
  
John gasped as the wet heat of Rodney's mouth surrounded his rapidly stiffening cock. He squeezed his eyes shut, thrusting shallowly; his hips stuttering in jerky movements. The obscene sounds of Rodney's lips sliding slick up and down his shaft is what finally pushed John over the edge, too soon, not soon enough. He came with a startled cry, pulsing in long spurts down Rodney's throat.  
  
Eyes still closed, John breathed harshly through his nose and petted Rodney's head, feeling the crinkly, plastic-like texture. "What the . . .?" His eyes snapped open and stared at the curly red wig on Rodney's head. "How . . .?" He yanked his hands away as if burned.  
  
Rodney looked up and John eyes widened in horror as he gaped at the sight of Rodney's face, tinted white. His eyes were outlined in black and his lips where surrounded by hideous red paint. "There, now don't you feel much better?" he asked and honked his big red nose.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaah," John screamed, scrambling backwards.  
  
***  
  
"Aaaaaaaaah," John screamed. He bolted upright and frantically looked around the room. A fine sheen of sweat covered his forehead and he was shivering.  
  
Rodney, whose face was gloriously devoid of make-up, was holding him. "Shhh," he soothed, stroking John's hair. HAIR! He had hair.  
  
Ronon and Teyla were studying him curiously, concern evident in their expressions.  
  
"Its okay, John. The shaman said there might be some after-effects of the aislin root." Rodney gently pushed John's head back into his lap. "You'll feel better if you sleep some more."  
  
John shuddered, stubbornly keeping his eyes open. "Can't sleep," he muttered. "Clown will eat me."  
  
End  


  
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story archived at <http://www.wraithbait.com/viewstory.php?sid=12331>  


**Author's Note:**

> Träume is the German word for dream.  
>   
> Prompt: jakisbishylygay asked for Aliens Made Them Do It after they shaved Shep's head  
>   
> Title taken from The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 10 [9F08] Lisa's First Word  
>   
> Homer: "I know you like clowns, so I made you this bed. Now you can laugh yourself to sleep."  
>   
> Evil clown bed: "If you should die before you wake... *Evil laugh*  
>   
> Young Bart: "Can't sleep... clown will eat me........can't sleep... clown will eat me."  
>   
> [Click here to view a clip of that scene](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQ5sow1PPA0)


End file.
